The difference between feeling like you belong somewhere and thinking, “well, I guess I could make it this work” is really night and day.It’s taken me more than once to figure that out and I hold onto that feeling whenever a level of comfort comes over me in a certain atmosphere.

Colorado, my family and my friends in it have been incredibly good to me since I touched down this Tuesday. I’m honestly having more fun than I’ve had in a very, very long time. I am grateful for that.

Looking forward to the coming weeks to see where I’m going to be working next. I see hope for some really interesting possibilities.

As for this thin air, it’s definitely keeping me tired this late at night, so before I fall over, I’m going to go to bed and accept these short paragraphs. Hope everyone’s having an awesome week.

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Morning People

by JR on March 2, 2010

Mornings like the one I had today are the sort that I care not to wake up to. The first thoughts that came to my head before even realizing what time it was were “oh my god, how am I going to go to Colorado while I’m unemployed and have no steady source of income? Shit, maybe I shouldn’t go…” I rolled over and wrapped myself up a few times to try and hide from these feelings which were bombarding me like cranes dive bombing into open waters looking for fish. I went to bed at 2:30 AM and when I woke up feeling dread and horror, I realized it was 8:00 AM.

I thought about trying to go back to bed but the thoughts didn’t really leave my mind, but rather instead of sharp pangs of angst, it settled into a dull dread that I knew wasn’t going to leave me right away.

So I got up, made some breakfast and turned on my laptop and started looking for jobs again.

I’ve been told many times in the past couple weeks that my attitude, a positive one, is going to help me attract new opportunities that I’d be passed over on if I was a sad bastard feeling bad for myself. I can manage this task because I’m a big thinker and my brain goes 8000 rpm’s at any given point in the day. But sometimes my brain goes a little slower, like in the morning when I let my eyes open, I stare at the ceiling and think about the simplest facts about my life and the people and things in it. This is when I’m vulnerable.

A dear friend of mine, a person who’s been there for me through and through during some of the hardest points in my life in the past 6 years has given me a lot of pointers and hopes for myself– some in the immediate term and some hopefully for the future. This person’s been sober for over 20 years and has helped me change my perspectives on addiction, especially with alcohol, greatly. This person told me about how hard mornings can be for a sober person, or someone dealing with a sobering event. Dealing with the hairy nature of life when things are still sort of quiet and still is a challenge that is faced every single day.

But my friend always reminded me at the end of these stories, “as the day goes on, it gets better. It gets better.”

Today it got better and it ended great. I look forward to another battle tomorrow, one that I intend on winning.

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Really Love Your Peaches, Wanna Shake Your Tree

February 27, 2010

Tonight I’m thinking about how my career has progressed despite making many sub-par decisions in my personal, academic and professional life. It’s funny to me, because I’ve conditioned myself to turn my nose up to things that I think are below me, even if I really don’t deserve any better by most standards. I’m talking [...]

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Keep Your People Up

February 24, 2010

When shit hits the fan in life, and for risk takers it often will, I see the practice of keeping your people up as a tried and true way to keep your sanity, find inspiration and get through the hard times. I’ve heard the phrase “I need to just focus on myself right now” in [...]

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5 Months or 5 Years?

February 22, 2010

I don’t believe in anything linear. People who assert they they have linear lines in their life are typically full of shit. I’m more a believer in symmetry and patterns, which can include flat periods of growth or ridiculously fast upward curves of development.
After the last week of taking some time to think of what’s [...]

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J.R. Phone Home

February 18, 2010

I’m getting asked quite a bit in the past few days about what I’m going to do and where I’m going to go. All I can say for sure is that I plan to do something and go somewhere outside of Madison, WI. My friends here know and have known for sometime that Madison wasn’t [...]

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My Life and Career After Brazen Careerist

February 16, 2010

Today I am sad to announce that I am no longer an employee of Brazen Careerist. While I consider the circumstances wholey unfortunate for both parties, both Team Brazen and myself have separated happily and are more than satisfied by our shared experiences over the last 5 months.
So, here I am.
While the fact that I [...]

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Who The Hell Are YOU?! (and where’s Waldo?)

February 12, 2010

A test I found today and didn’t get to take because I had too much to do at work… let’s see how accurate or useful it is.

I love these tests because every once in a while they confirm what I really always knew about myself OR they shock the hell out of me and make [...]

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Running All Over This Country Chasing Something

February 12, 2010

Sometimes this boy gets too big for his britches, but I think a lot of people do. I’m the type of person who lives in my head and I’m consciously doing my best to live in the moment more before things get too stuffy up there. I’ve often had big ideas about living all over [...]

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My First Video Blog About Thinking Too Much, Minimalism and Starting a Business

February 10, 2010

Tonight is one of those nights where it’s a perfect storm of being tired yet motivated when getting home from work. Add on top of that the interesting, yet pleasant feeling of knowing that people in your past are doing okay… well, it’s enough for me to look past this grisly bear look I’ve got [...]

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